A Multiplicity of Patches

17th February 2012

Get Out of my Cash Register Space

The last day of business at the retail outfit I work at is this Saturday. Needless to say, the sales are unbelievable. Most of the stuff ON sale is crap, but the sales are still pretty steep. In other words, you can get that rip-off of a rip-off of a rip-off Vampire Sex mystery book for, like, $1.25.

And, people, I KNOW the vampire sex book is $1.25. I am well-aware that we are having unbelievable sales, and I am pretty sure I know what the percentages are. You do NOT need to crane your neck across the counter whilst you lean on your elbow and get your face in the computer screen to make sure I am selling you that vampire sex book for $1.25. You do not need to remind me that we are going out of business and, thus, having a big liquidation sale. You do not need to play Mr. Calculator and tell me that 75% off of $5.00 is $1.25.

Ah, the public.

12th February 2012

A friend burned Youth Lagoon’s “The Year of Hibernation” for me and I cannot get enough of it, especially this song … .

12th February 2012

Meandering Thoughts and Abdominal Crunches

I think the gym is kind of a funny place.

I was at the gym a couple of hours ago, trying to carve out a semi-secluded place to “do some abs.” I just wanted to do some good old-fashioned sit-ups. The problem with good old-fashioned sit-ups is that you KNOW you are quietly being judged by all in the vicinity for not doing the “right kind” of abdominal exercises. Everybody nearby is doing their version of the “correct” abdominal workout.

Today was a perfect case-in-point. In one quadrant of the aerobics floor, a short, bulky guy in a black sweatshirt was hanging from an iron bar, lifting his feet to his chest. In another quadrant, a guy in a red muscle shirt had two rather large ropes in each hand, shaking them violently. In yet another quadrant, a dude with Superman’s jawline and loose Adidas pants was doing some hardcore bouncing on one of those large inflated balls. (I had to look away when he was doing his bouncing, because, you know, it felt like something I shouldn’t be watching.)

That left the fourth and final quadrant to … me. I grabbed a mat and did some crunches, trying to silence the voices of the abdominal exercise police in my head. I finished up and decided to go home. I grabbed my stuff and paused to survey the gym scene before I left. I felt a small voice inside my head nudge me. It said, “The things we do to be loved.” I just had this sad moment, looking around … . looking at everybody busting their balls to be lovable. Isn’t that all what it’s really about?

Don’t get me wrong. Fitness is good! Studies have consistently shown that getting one’s heart rate up for 20 minutes or more three times a week has profound emotional and mental benefits, not to mention the boost to physical health. Exercise is good!

But seriously, folks, isn’t a lot of this about believing that if we just have the washboard abs, the tightest butt, or arms that don’t jiggle we will somehow be more worthy, more deserving? I’m appalled at much of the prejudice I encounter regarding obesity. Hell, not just obesity … how about just being a little bit overweight? I can’t even imagine what it is like in this culture to be obese.

Oh, and, by the way, I’m as guilty as they come.

There is a little part of me that slaves away in the gym because I believe that somehow it will cure those nagging inadequacies that haunt me. I have much healthier reasons for working out, of course … I am addicted to the sense of well-being and emotional elevation I feel after a hard cardio workout. But why the overwhelming sense of GUILT when I fail to meet my weekly exercise requirements? I can only guess that it is because I believe failure to exercise cuts into my fundamental worth.

And I know I’m not the only one. The gym is replete with what social critic and historian Morris Berman calls A-Void-ance. If I have a perfect body, I will somehow be whole. If I work my ass off in the gym, I can outrun the Void for a little while.

These thoughts, of course, are nothing new. There are a great many Americans who recognize and acknowledge A-Void-ance. Most of us know, for example, that consumerism is a sickness that plagues our society … but we continue to consume. I say exercise obsession is a type of consumerism. We’re gonna GET something out of it, namely, a body worthy of love. Get, acquire, get, acquire … it’s all about acquisition. We’ll be at home in our bodies if/when they look acceptable to some phantom judge.

Yeah, so, the gym really got me thinking today. Go figure.

21st January 2012

San Francisco is not America

I told one of my favorite co-workers today that I plan on moving to the San Francisco Bay Area within 6 to 8 months. He said that he was very proud of me for “leaving the United States of America”, because, you know, San Francisco is “NOT America.” That guy is just cool as beans.

15th January 2012

Hurry up! Kiss Lorraine, George McFly!!!

Wow. I just found out that if you delete a message on Tumblr, it sort of fades away dramatically, kind of like Marty McFly and his siblings in that photograph in “Back to the Future”. Weird.

15th January 2012

Lighten Up

So, this funny thing happened a few days ago.

We had a staff meeting early in the morning at my place of employment, which is not at all unusual. We often have staff meetings early in the morning. Everyone meandered in, and began to chatter idly as to what this staff meeting might be about. One of my coworkers brightly said, “I think we are getting some kind of award!”

A few minutes later, a corporate officer handed us our severance packages. It was pretty funny—except for the part where I am now unemployed.

15th January 2012